Simon bustles out the door, large wrapped package under one arm, and nearly takes a nasty tumble down the porch stairs. He’s on his way to a birthday party for an old college friend, running late as usual.
He plops into his car and zips through traffic as hurriedly as he can, without violating both law and conscience, mind you. Zooming through yellowish-red lights, passing on the right, careening off curbs, and paralyzing pedestrians with fright, Simon nears his destination – The Royal Hall of the Union of the Community of the Brotherhood of Concerned Citizens for the Positive Reformation of Society (which, helpfully, rents out its hall for birthday parties).
Just as he nears his last turn, Simon remembers what he had previously forgotten, as is usually the way. He was supposed to bring cookies to the party! He even signed up to bring cookies on his college fraternity Facebook page, where he was reminded of his friend’s birthday.
No worries. With a sharp U-turn, Simon was off to obtain the needed cookies. A short two miles down the road was a pair, count them, two, bakeries next door to one another – Anatole’s Pastries (known home of the best cookies in three states) and Baking for Jesus (known home of chocolate-chip cardboard).
As a Christian, Simon has been told to support his “brothers,” so he is faced with a small dilemma: buy cookies from Anatole the French pagan or from Pete the Christian who has no business baking. What’s a (Christian) man to do? After all, Baking for Jesus is listed in the Shepherd’s Guide for Christian Businesses and Simon’s pastor just preached about the importance of buying Christian everything (at the International House of Praise and Prayer for the Nations to be Evangelized for the Lion of Judah Worship and Fellowship Center which, helpfully, also rents out its hall for weddings).
The little devil on Simon’s left (note – left) shoulder shouts, “Just buy from Anatole! Who cares if he’s a believer, his cookies are the best.” The little angel on Simon’s right shoulder whispers softly, “Simon, what would Jesus do? Remember what you’ve read on church signs, Christian t-shirts, and bumper stickers – His blood’s for you, Jesus is the Real Thing, the Christian Vitamin is B1.”
Simon shakes himself out of his semi-coma, primarily to get the little devil and angel off his shoulders, and walks toward Anatole’s door.