Mark Schatzker of The Globe and Mail recently wrote a hilarious article commemorating the one-week anniversary of Occupy Toronto. Gathering quotes from protesters he conversed with, Schatzker compiled them into an absolute classic work of satire. See the link above for the entire article, but here are some of my favorites.
“The day after Occupy, I used an ATM and the same old message came up saying you will be charged $1 for this transaction or whatever. But it felt different, somehow. You could tell the ATM felt embarrassed, that it knew it was just another pawn in this charade we call capitalism. I felt sorry for my robot brother.” Alex, 23
“Why are there more people at the reunion than were at the actual protest? That’s just such total BS, man.” – Russell, 26
“We have these amazing commemorative Occupy shirts for sale. The minimum order was 250, so there will be extras if anyone wants one.” – Dave, 23
“It’s weird protesting on Bay Street. You get there at 9 a.m. and the rich bankers who you want to hurl insults at and change their worldview have been at work for two hours already. And then when it’s time to go, they’re still there. I guess that’s why they call them the one per cent. I mean, who wants to work those kinds of hours? That’s the power of greed.” – Jeremy, 38
Even those who try to remain sympathetic to their cause must note that this is a movement that still needs to define itself more clearly. If the Occupiers cannot offer more than whining and complete misstatements about capitalism, they will either be finally hijacked into far leftist politics or they will join the ranks of other flash-in-the-pan movements – probably near the “Save the Spotted Owl Society.”
The real enemy is corporatism, where corporations and government marry and wreak havoc on the people, particularly the poor and middle class. If the Occupy movement realized that government is not the answer, but part of the problem, their message would resonate with many more Americans.